Spruce Pine IS a screwed up place

Last week, Spruce Pine Ingles Customer Service Manager Teddy Willis told yours truly that the decision to keep the movie, Borat, from its video rental department was "probably" a decision from corporate. But, gee, golly, I just found out that, oh no, it wasn't.

The Newland Ingles, just one county away (a county even more Republican than Spruce Pine's Mitchell), has twenty copies and they are renting like proverbial hotcakes. According to the the Newland Ingles video counter employee, no one has complained. So, when the Spruce Pine Ingles manager decided not to provide the movie for its customers, it makes me wonder why.

If you've followed my previous posts on this subject, you know that in Spruce Pine I originally tried to rent Borat. I was told Ingles didn't carry it because it was too controversial).

When I returned the substitute movie, Babel, I sought out a manager to let them know that Babel had showed a masturbating, murdering child and that they may want to develop a little consistency in the censorship department. That's when Teddy told me that the decision was "probably" a corporate one. I've been too busy during business hours to call Ingles corporate headquarters but I did some shopping this evening at the Newland branch, only to discover that Mr. Teddy was shockingly mistaken.

So, what the hell could be so "controversial" about Borat? Naked men wrestling? Or is it that scene in a Virginia rodeo when Borat lets everyone know what the world thinks of America's so-called "War on Terror?"

Did Teddy deliberately lie about it? I don't know. I can only report that as I questioned him about it, his eyes never met mine.

I haven't had the chance to call Ingles corporate headquarters or touch base with dear Teddy, I can't wait to have a chat with official spokespeople for both entities. The Newland folk hadn't heard anything about Ingles putting the nix on the silly but fascinating movie. So, gee, Teddy "probably" made some kind of mistake when talking to me.

What do you think he'll say when I ask the Spruce Pine manager about his decision to censor Borat but make money off of Babel?

I'm worried about Spruce Pine

Hey, what's up in Mitchell County?

I've been there twice in the past week and I'm starting to worry. Of course, we all know the region is acclaimed for its hot female bikers, I mean, all those amazing minerals. And its great legacy of country music, the scenic beauty and the (well-worth-a-visit) Penland crafts school. It's a cultural treasure house, right?

So, you can imagine how shocked and concerned I felt when I heard this rumor about one of the local used clothing stores. You know, the kind that takes all kinds of used items to sell and the proceeds go to help animals or those in need? In this particular case, I'd heard that they throw away the items they can't sell. Right into the dumpster!

Last week, I went to the establishment in question and bought a few items (including some amazing used wigs. More on that later). And I chatted with the nice Christian lady behind the counter, who assured me that not only did they indeed throw away the clothes, they go so far as to cut them up. "If we don't slit the clothes, we come in the next day and there's a mess in the parking lot. People rummage through the dumpster and leave 'em all over. We spend half the mornin' cleanin' up . . ."

I won't give names and addresses (or phone numbers) until I've confirmed the story. But, according to my sources, there used to be a tractor-trailer in said parking lot where the unbought clothes would get picked up. But now, I'm told, "the county won't let us," because it doesn't look nice.

I know Mitchell County is overwhelmingly Christian (and, dare I say, Republican). I can't imagine a true Christian would advocate destroying clothes rather than getting them to people who could use them (at no cost to anyone . . .) I'll have to investigate further. Rest assured, I'm on the case.

Then there's the movie situation. I'll have to do more research on this one, too. It seems that the Ingles grocery in Spruce Pine doesn't carry the movie, Borat. "It's too controversial," said the woman behind the counter (with a giggle.)

So, we rented Babel. Well, Babel has children masturbating and killing people, blood everywhere. There's a teenaged girl licking her dentist (without his permission), and getting naked repeatedly (and not for laughs).

So, this is okay with the Spruce Pine Ingles but the sophomoric (and quite entertaining) Borat isn't? I'm thinkin' it's that scene at the rodeo where he sings a new version of the national anthem. You know, about how America is terrorizing the world with our so-called "war on terror." Maybe, that's what makes Borat too controversial. Because I know that nudity can't be the problem, since masturbating children and sexually aggressive nude teenagers are just fine.

I obviously need to ask some questions here. Maybe it's all Ingles and not just the Spruce Pine one.

Still, I'm worried about Spruce Pine. I'll keep you posted.