Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The impotence of being almost earnest
Rep. Patrick McHenry
Founder, Rep. McHenry's Hostel for Strapping Young Republican Lads
Dear Rep. McHenry,
It surprises me that so few people understand just how important you are. After all, you are a Congressman. That's important. You're also the go-to-guy for strapping, young, Republican lads who need a bed for the night. That's important. You've been tied to a multiple-murder investigation involving homosexual prostitutes and organized crime figures. That's important too. So why don't people see you that way?
I know it's not your fault. You've tried very hard to publicize your importance. In just the last few weeks alone, you bragged to an audience at a Republican dinner that you had berated a security guard in Iraq. And then there's that video you put up on your website--the one in which you proved your importance my broadcasting all the secret operational military information you had.
But, unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. If anything, it's backfired. Your own local newspapers are calling for your head.
We need to turn that around. Below, you'll find my suggestions for other ways to make yourself seem important.
Gp to the post to read his excellent suggestions (and for links to the very real and not-so-funny sources. I recommend the one about Lindsey Graham for the not-easily -offended.